


Amazing

by Veul_McLannon



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, another Ponn Farr!fic, but that's Bones for you, minor swearing?, so much cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veul_McLannon/pseuds/Veul_McLannon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock's not on the bridge, oh no! What could possibly be wrong? Jim is an idiot and panics. Bones is snarky. (Possibly the 5,679th Ponn Farr fic but there we go).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amazing

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2009, but thought I'd post it in case anyone wanted to read it? As such, I couldn't give it a proper re-read as I would probably cringe the whole way through it, but I hope you enjoy :)

Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise strode onto the bridge for the Alpha shift and simply stopped dead and _stared._  
  


It wasn’t Chekov making eyes at Sulu – that was a common enough occurrence of a morning; nor was it Uhura, communications, who appeared angry enough to physically harm her panel, with a rather wary Scott looking on; or the reasonably-sized cluster of crewmembers of various ranks standing by the viewscreen (which was blank, thank you _very_ much).  
  


No, what made the Captain nearly fall off his feet was the fact that – the _terrifying_ fact, he might add – his science officer, first officer, friend… Spock, simply _wasn’t there._ Ensign (Ensign! Well, he’d have something to say about that. You don’t replace a Vulcan with…words failed him.) McDavies was standing there instead (and all right, so he didn’t _appear_ to be destroying the panel, but you could never tell).  
  


Nobody seemed to notice the Captain’s shock, or, indeed, that he was even there. It rankled a bit. Just a bit. Okay, it rankled a lot. And where was Spock?  
  


He strode over to the centre seat, jabbed the shipwide comm and… stopped again. Damn.  
  


 _“Dammit Jim!”_ a voice in Kirk’s head swore, sounding suspiciously like one Doctor McCoy. _“You’re supposed to be keeping this crush of yours-“_  
  


Not a crush, he told the voice firmly, before caving in and weakly telling it, an admiration. Ardent… admiration…  
  


The voice seemed to sigh in exasperation. _“ –crush of yours secret, not sending out a shipwide alert at the slightest little provocation. Check his quarters, or better still, McCoy. That Vulcan works far too hard, you know. One of these days…”_  
  


And blimey, was that concern? Maybe the voice wasn’t so much a McCoy as a McCoy/mother figure. Ooh. Better not tell him that one.  
  


“Right,” muttered Kirk, “Mr Sulu, you have the conn.”  
  


“Aye, sir.” A glance at Chekov. He really needed to do something about those two. The Captain fled the bridge. Nobody really noticed.

 

***

 

The Captain came flying out of the turbolift like a bat out of hell (the old Terran Meatloaf song came to mind just watching him), flew up to McCoy and babbled, “HaveyouseenSpockhe’snotonthebridgeandMcDaviesisinhisplaceandIthoughtyoumightknowwheretofindhimhaveyousenhim?”  
  


The Doctor looked warily at his Captain. “All right, Jim, try again, and slow the hell down!”  
  


“Have you seen Spock?”  
  


“Was that was all the panic was about? Here, you sit down and we’ll have a drink and you can tell me what’s wrong. Spock’s gone, you say?” McCoy said, looking worried, pausing on his way for the Saurian brandy. He let his hand drop. “I haven’t seen him, Jim,” was the Doctor’s eventual response. “Have you checked the records, the locator…”  
  


“Oh. Yes. Locator. Right. Great idea, Bones, yeah. I’ll… do that. Thanks.”  
  


“No problem, Jim. Oh and, uh,” he muttered jerkily as Kirk left the sickbay, “You know I’m always here. If you need anything. ‘Kay?”  
  


Jim smiled; a little tense, maybe, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Thanks, Bones. Good to know I’ve got a friend in you.” He turned and left, slightly less panicked than when he had arrived.  
  


McCoy sighed as he looked after him. He thought that he could hide the fact that he cared for Spock from a doctor, of all people? He had a lot to learn. Poor little lover-boy. He’d have a hard time with that Vulcan. But McCoy would be there every step of the way. He wanted Jim to be happy. He deserved it.

 

***

 

Jim distractedly muttered, “Spock,” at the locator and waited for signs to show up.  
  


“Commander Spock is in his quarters,” chimed the computer.  
  


“Ssh, keep it down, will you? I don’t want the whole…” Then Jim realised he was speaking to a computer. He sighed tiredly and thought that really, the whole “being a Captain and having a massive crush – damn, thought we’d decided it wasn’t a crush – on your _Vulcan_ first officer” lark wasn’t what it was cut out to be. Well, obviously not the second bit.  
  


 _Well, he’s in his quarters. He should be fine. But why didn’t he tell me? I am his captain after all, and I thought I’d got far enough to be called friend, as well. I’ll go and see him. Yes. Maybe he forgot to tell me…_ But deep inside Kirk knew that his totally efficient first would never forget to tell him anything. Back to McCoy, then.

 

***

 

“Well, did you find him?” questioned McCoy without turning around as Kirk walked in the door.  
  


“Yeah. He’s… in his cabin.” The Captain nodded, then asked of McCoy, “Do you know if there’s anything that affects only Vulcans… causes seclusion… anger…?”  
  


“Can’t say I do off the top of my head, Jim,” Murmured McCoy thoughtfully. “Angry, you say? That is… most out of character. To coin a phrase… illogical.”  
  


“Yeah, and... he lobbed a bowl of soup at one of your nurses. I happened to be walking past at the time, and, well… the look on his face, Bones… it was almost predatory, but you could sort of see the old Spock in there somewhere… Your nurse should be coming in soon. She seemed to be in a bit of shock. Don’t blame her.”  
  


“Hm, not every day you get an enraged Vulcan throwing soup at you.” Pondered the doctor.  
  


“But really, what could be wrong? Bones, help me. I’m... well, worried about him.”  
  


“All right, Jim, I’ll do a check for Vulcan diseases, rites of passage… you know how vicious they are… have you seen some of the warriors they churn out? Terrifying. Ah here’s your nurse, Jim.”  
  


The woman in question looked slightly affronted at that, and McCoy felt bound to explain to her that the Captain had seen the incident. She relaxed a bit at that and launched into a diatribe about how she had only endeavoured to take him some food, when he had flown into a rage and thrown it back at her. Literally.  
  


McCoy sent her off to her quarter to “recuperate”, shortly after which the computer intoned “Full list of all emotional effects to be had on Vulcans. Pon Farr, the – “  
  


“Stop. Jim, I’m an idiot. I should have realized. Spock’s in Pon Farr. It’s this…”

 

***

 

Over half an hour later, Jim had needed several glasses of Saurian brandy, a chair, and was now sitting with his mouth hanging open, attempting to formulate some kind of sentence.  
  


“Shit.”  
  


“Eloquent.”  
  


“Shut it, Bones. So this… Pon Farr thingy… Oh _God_.”  
  


“Yeah. Gonna volunteer?” drawled McCoy, slinging back another glass.  
  


“Volunteer…? Hell no! For a start, he’d kill me.”  
  


“So you would if death wasn’t in the... how should I put it... equation?” he chuckled, smirking as he realized he had well and truly trapped his Captain.  
  


“Damn you, Bones! You… you…”  
  


“You fancy him.”  
  


“Keep it _down_! All right, yes, so I… admire him, and his work.”  
  


“…And his looks, and the way he keeps his emotions under wraps but still shows them _sometimes_ , and the _ears…_ you can’t deny it, Jim, I’ve seen you making eyes at him on the bridge, how eager you are to take him on peace missions, not to take him on any mission that could be dangerous… saving his life…”  
  


“Alright, Bones, we get it. You think I fancy him. Drop it.” _Shit, that was close._ “Anyway, back to the point. He’d kill me. Try one of your little nurses, or Uhura. She’s always trying to get him to look her way. Hasn’t yet, but… y’never know.”  
  


“Hm. You. Never. Know. Kirk, you’re an idiot. He _dies_ if you don’t, geddit? Right now, it’s not like he has a choice. He won’t kill you for saving his life.”  
  


“You sure ‘bout that?” muttered Kirk, half to himself. He poured himself another glass and downed it in one. He came up coughing and McCoy, in his role as a doctor, dutifully thumped him on the back until it had subsided. “Thank you, Doctor McCoy. You didn’t have to be _quite_ so _vigorous._  
  


“I think I did, Jim. So, will you or won’t you?  
  


“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, you slimy – “  
  


“Jim, really? Do you believe that of me?” He fished out his best innocent look and tried to persuade the Captain.  
  


“Yes,” grunted Jim, none too pleased. “I might think about it – _might_ being the operative, mind. You’re sure he wouldn’t kill me? I rather like life and its many… attributes.”  
  


“Well, judging from the sounds of things, he might kill you in the process, but I find it unlikely he’d want to kill you afterwards.” McCoy smiled.  
  


“Fine. I’m off to get some well-earned rest.”  
  


“Ciao.”  
  


“Since when have you said “ciao”?”  
  


“I thought you were getting some rest?”  
  


“All right, going, I’m going…” The door hissed twice. Gone.  
  


 _All in all, rather brilliant. Congratulations, McCoy,_ thought the doctor to himself. _Good job I didn’t tell him about the permanent bond… don’t want to freak him out too much…yet._

***

 

“Spock?” a whispered voice echoed through the cabin. Jim thought about the state his first must be in, to have not applied any security locks on his cabin. And the temperature! He knew Vulcans liked it hot (how ironic was that), but this was well above what Spock was usually just about comfortable with.  
  


“Please leave, Captain,” came a hoarse voice from the dark bedroom, sending shivers down Jim’s spine.  
  


“Not a chance, Spock,” Jim breathed, padding closer to the bedroom.  
  


“Please,” came the disembodied voice again, so tormented that it tore at Jim’s heart.  
  


“Let me help you, Spock,” Jim said gently.  
  


“I am beyond the reach of help now,” Spock sounded like he was on his deathbed. There wasn’t much time.  
  


“No you’re not. I can help, Spock. I can bring you back – to what you used to be and – “ he cut himself short, realising that he was about to dig himself a hole so deep he would never be able to climb out.  
  


“Do you truly understand, Captain?” came the tired-sounding voice.  
  


“I do, and I am prepared to do whatever is necessary.”  
  


“You cannot know, or you would not be prepared to, and if you did, then you would do it out of duty alone. I would prefer to die rather than bond with one who does not truly love me.”  
  


“Bond? What bond?” Jim sounded panicked.  
  


“You did not know? I thought as much,” came the voice of Spock, barely under control. “The life bond. When two beings become joined, it is like marriage, however, not the kind of marriage you humans favour. It is forever.”  
  


“Forever,” repeated Jim dreamily. “Yup, good with it.”  
  


“Captain, do you understand – “  
  


“Yes, Mr Spock, I understand. Even if you don’t want it, if you are protesting for your sake, I, for one, certainly wouldn’t mind being bonded to you for eternity.”  
  


“You cannot mean that.” Spock sounded defeated, resigned to whatever fate threw at him.  
  


“I can, and I’ll show you.” Jim strode into Spock’s inner sanctum, located the dark ball that was Spock and pulled him upright. “I’ll show you how much I mean it.” He grabbed Spock’s shoulders then and pulled him into a bruising kiss, letting all his love (yes, _love, dammit_ ) for the Vulcan spill over.  
  


Spock, poor angel, was standing as stiff as a rake, which must have been doubly hard for him, what with the Pon Farr and all. Jim broke off contact.  
  


“No, Spock?” Jim questioned sadly. “Even now, when it’s this or die, you can’t love me. I’m sorry I’m not right for you. But Spock, you’ll _die_! I couldn’t… couldn’t bear…” he broke off, choking on his words, his tears, his rejection.  
  


“What you could or couldn’t bear does not enter into the equation, Captain.” Kirk could hear his resolve slipping, fast.  
  


“So you’d rather die than bond with someone who’s willing? Do you hate me that much? I realise that you thought we were just friends, but I’ve been terrified of asking you about a romantic relationship for years, now. Your refusal would be devastating for us both, and going wider, the whole ship and her crew, by extension, Starfleet. And don’t forget Vulcan. They’ll have lost – “  
  


“Captain. Please stop.” Spock was sitting on the bed again; Kirk could see the shine of tears streaking his face. He knelt down beside his first and brushed them away with his thumb.  
  


“Love me,” he whispered into one olive ear.  
  


“I cannot. My resolve to keep you safe is failing. Stay much longer and you will be – “  
  


“Why? _Why_ can you not? I would take a not-so-figurative bullet for you, I’d _die_ for you, but yet you insist on… this… _Why?”_ cried the Captain agitatedly.  
  


“Ina… lations… senior… ation… rank…” came the soft murmur from the bed.  
  


“Spock?”  
  


“It is inappropriate and against regulations for a senior officer to have a relationship of a romantic kind with an officer of lower rank.”  
  


“Bullshit. I _love_ you, Spock. I don’t give a damn about the consequences. If you do, tough.”  
  


“I do not, Captain.”  
  


Jim leaned in for another kiss, gentler this time, and was caught off-guard when Spock grabbed him and proceeded to give him _the_ kiss of a lifetime.  
  


When they both came up, gasping for air, Jim exclaimed “ _That’s_ more like it!”, but then Spock recovered, and together they managed to prevent further speech of any coherent kind for what seemed like an eternity.

 

***

 

“Captain.” _Will they ever find out, do you suppose, t’hy’la?_  
  


“Mr. Spock.” _No. I love you, you know that don’t you?_  
  


_I am imminently aware of the fact, yes. The feeling is mutual._  
  


 _Feeling, Mr. Spock? But I thought that was a human emotion._ The Captain looked over at his first and grinned mischievously, an action which did not go unnoticed by McCoy.  
  


He strolled over and questioned casually, “So, how’d the you-know-what go?”  
  


Spock overheard ( _he would, pointy-eared bastard,_ thought McCoy) and stated that as he is obviously alive, it would appear to have gone quite alright. Jim backed him up ( _well, he would, little lover-boy,_ thought McCoy).  
  


“ I fail to see what concern it is of yours, anyway, Doctor,” intoned Spock.  
  


_I love it when you do that._  
  


_What?_  
  


_Kick his ass like there’s no tomorrow. You two are hilarious._  
  


_I assure you that was not my intention…_  
  


 _Don’t spoil it. Just do it more often, and you shall be rewarded._ The slight tremor that ran down Spock’s spine went unnoticed by everyone except Kirk, who grinned even more broadly.  
  


“If you two have quite finished your little mental chat…” drawled McCoy.  
  


“Quite finished, thank you, Bones. What exactly do you wish to know?”  
  


“What the hell happened.”  
  


Captain and first officer looked at each other, before both grinning broadly (McCoy nearly had a heart attack) and Spock saying with a glint in his eye “The Captain happened, Doctor. And it was…”

_Amazing._

 


End file.
